So other than the fact that this completely cracked me up, I decided that I should impart my “wisdom” of “fried” eggs.

When I was little, I never understood why they were called fried eggs. My mom only sprayed a pan with nonstick spray and cooked them like that. So that’s how I learned to cook them.

1. Spray a frying pan with nonstick spray or spay canola oil or olive oil spray. Turn the burner to medium (if your stove runs hot, keep it a little below medium, better cooler then too hot though) and let it get hot.
   Note: if you put a drop of water on your finger and drop it into the pan, if it sizzles the pan is hot enough
   
2. Crack an egg into the hot pan. Crack it carefully so that no shell gets in the egg. Careful to not break the yoke!
   
3. As soon as you crack the egg into the pan, cover it! Set a timer for 2 minutes. Do NOT uncover it until the timer goes off.
   (haha you can see me!)
   
4. When the 2 minutes have elapsed, uncover the pan. If your egg is the how you like it, you’re done :). If not, take a spatula/turner thing to flip the egg. Since you sprayed the pan, the egg should move freely. What I do, is tip the pan towards the spatula so the egg slips on nicely, then I tilt the pan towards the egg so it has less distance to be flipped.
   (below is my egg flipped, i wanted the yoke cooked a little more because it was going in a sandwich and I didn’t want yoke running down my arm…)
   
5. Turn off the burner and remove from heat. Use the spatula, to de-pan and and flip the egg back over. Salt & Pepper, annnnd you’re done! Perfecto!