November 2010 vs. December 2012.
236 lbs vs. 171 lbs
I remember that day SO vividly. They were size 14s and it was the first time is been able to pull on size 14s in like 3 years (my lack of hips leaves me living with a muffin top but I’m over it).
Hell. I remember ordering size 18s and them BARELY fitting.
Today I pulled on size 10s. And they aren’t skin tight.
Never in my life have I ever been a single digit. I went from kids sizes to a size 13. Never single digits. Even if vanity sizing is out of control.
I kinda feel like crying at how far I’ve come. I honestly think this is the smallest I have ever been in my adult life….and I was feeling down about my weight today.
Thank you reality check.
Just for some prospective.
I went from 210s to 171 lbs. Pete went from 260s to 198 lbs (boys and their amazing metabolisms lady’s & gents!).
The couple who grows together…wait a minute…
(I’m 5’10” for the record; 276 lbs vs. 172 lbs)
I don’t remember who said it. But recently someone mentioned how weird weight loss is. Like all of a sudden you look back and you’re like “woah, I used to be bigger.”
Or you’ll see a picture of yourself and be like “who’s that girl wearing my dress??”
Weight loss isn’t this magic bean that you take it and all of a sudden everything’s perfect. Sometime, even 104 lbs down, I’ll look in the mirror and not feel like I’ve lost a single pound. Or I’ll be standing next to a friend who’s the same size as me but I will still feel twice as big.
It’s a weird thing looking in the mirror and not really recognizing yourself. I’m glad I’ve done this slow or it would be even harder.
I will preach that food is the biggest deciding factor and none of this “abs are made in the kitchen” stuff. While its true, that’s not the point. Healthy food will make you feel healthy, but your body also processes it differently. I have a completely different body type this time around.
All that being said. Weight loss is 99.9% mental (that .1% is divided between food & exercise). If it’s not right up there or your doing it for the wrong reason, I’m sorry to say, but there’s no way in hell it’s sticking.
I am so thankful & blessed to have an amazing tumblr family.
I am thankful that this wedding is almost over. I am thankful for my friends. And I am thankful to almost not be 25 anymore.
I am thankful for not getting sick *HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE BODY!*
I am also thankful for my tenacity and my ability to achieve a picture that can fully fit in the frame.
Bought my first swimsuit, neh, first bikini (ok…tankini) that I’ve bought in (drum roll please) SEVEN years.
And I legit like the way I look in it.
This is a big deal.
I am statistically normal (We all know I can’t just say I’m normal normal haha).
Well. Except my height. 95% percentile woot.
Today is a milestone day.
From a 44” waist to 31” waist.
From a 276 lbs to 172(.8) lbs.
From a morbidly obese 35+ BMI to a normal 24.8 BMI.
From an obese waist to height ratio to a slim (SLIM?!) waist to height ratio.
It’s crazy. Weight loss is crazy.
And apparently I lose weight like a champ when I’m stressed out of my brain.
(238 lbs vs. 173 lbs)
The yoga teacher I went to today was my yoga teacher when I took yoga at pima, about 1 1/2 years ago.
She recognized me today. But kind of said “holy crap you look fantastic.” I was also told I looked taller today. Funny.
Logically I know I’ve lost 100 lbs. and I know I’ve lost 72”.
Progress in the last year & 1/2 yoga taking wise. About 55 lbs.
Food & strength training for the win. Plus some yoga!
Geez….where did I go?
So this is appropriate (if you follow me on Instagram, sorry for the repeat.)
I think I’m more proud of this progress then a lot of my other accomplishments.
Gun show Thursday.
Half-assed gym-ing after HUGE bio test & calculus.
My brain is crying. But my shoulders look good…
But at least I did something?
PS this is the face of a girl who ran 15 minutes STRAIGHT for the first time in her LIFE!
Yesssss. 15 mins (13 mins @ 5.0 mph, 2 mins @ 6.5 mph), 1.26 miles, 130-ish-something calories)
I’m to excited to sleep.
Now 12 hours of bio studying.
I barely even recognize the person in those pictures anymore. It’s like it was a dream or something and I woke up with this “new” body.
But that’s not the case, this has been a 2 1/2 year fight. I clawed my way here, it was not easy. I had month long plateaus and moments where all I wanted was a giant greasy burrito….and gave in. I haven’t been perfect on this journey, there’s no such thing.
I was… blessed? cursed? I don’t know what to call it, with two different eating disorders to get to the person in the pictures above, they weren’t to the point where some people get, but an eating disorder is an eating disorder. I spent my senior year of high school eating about 700-900 calories a day, binging occasionally (I lost 30 lbs that year). Then I spent the first year of my marriage binge eating like it was my job. (I gained 60 lbs that year) I would eat a plate full of waffles with syrup, an entire bag of tortilla chips, an entire medium pizza, order of bread sticks and 1/2 order of cinnasticks, plus lunch. What is that like 3500 calories? And that’s just one day.
I have always used eating food as a way to control my life. The summer before my senior year of high school, my band director died suddenly, it was like the world was ripped out from under me. So, I hyper-controlled my food. My freshman year of college, a friend from middle school committed suicide. I started hiding food from my room mate and mini-binging when she wasn’t around (I gained 30 lbs that year). I got married when I was 21, and I guess maybe all the new responsibilities just got to me, so I ate. And ate. And ate. And wound up at 276 lbs. Maybe more then that, I shockingly avoided the scale.
Do I wish that I had never gotten that big? Of course. Would I give up the experiences that I’ve had over the last 2 1/2 years? Not on your life.
The weight gain was a mental thing. And I needed it. I really did. I’m not ashamed that I was fat. I’m not ashamed of my extra skin or stretch marks. Does the extra skin frustrate me sometimes? Sure. But I’m not ashamed of it.
It’s a reminder. I have 10 lbs to my ultimate goal weight, but honestly, I don’t know how much I care if I get there now, I’m healthy. I’m active. And I want a baby. Stay tuned ;)
So. Let’s make it official.
M E A S U R E M E N T S —
highest - 280 lbs.
275 lbs. 276 lbs.
now - 175.3 lbs (-100.7 lbs)
Total Inches lost: 73.625”
Total Pounds lost: 100.7 lbs
Total Percent Lost: 36.5%
(Picture just for good measure. I look ridiculous and I kinda love it.)
I guess it’s time to pierce my nose!
P.S. I feel like I’ve joined a super secret club!